Dear Richard Madeley: My wife is taller than me and keeps bringing it up

It’s never been a problem before – has she picked this up from social media?

My wife is slightly taller than me and it’s never been a problem as far as I was concerned. However she has started to mention it – in quite a lighthearted way, admittedly – and last week she made me wear my winter boots to a party, although the weather was still quite hot, because they ‘made me look nice and tall’.
I’m convinced she has picked this up on social media – I know from single friends that it’s an issue in online dating. I wouldn’t want her to think I was getting a complex – but I’d rather she didn’t get one either. Should I mention it?
— AP, via email
Yes, I think you should. There are a number of possibilities that could explain what lies behind this recent change in your wife’s behaviour, and you need to get to the bottom of whatever it might be.
As you say, social media is one. Perhaps one of your wife’s online contacts has made some sort of comment about the slight disparity in height between the two of you. Or there may have been a more generalised discussion on the subject of women who happen to be taller than their partners.
Of course it could simply be that your wife has always had a level of sensitivity about the matter and buried it, from herself and from you – until now.
Whatever the reason for her sudden focus on this, the last thing you should do is let it fester. So yes, as I say, I DO think you should mention it. Be completely straight: tell your wife you’ve noticed a shift in her attitude towards your height and you’d like to know why, and if it’s a problem for her (not that there’s much you can do about it!).
I think she should be clear – if she isn’t already – that you yourself don’t have any issues about the slight height difference; you’re simply responding to these recent comments from her.
But I should say, AP, that I truly don’t think you have anything to worry about. This is just a case of ‘housekeeping’ within a marriage; getting things completely straight between you. Your wife wouldn’t have fallen in love with you and married you if a slight difference in height was some sort of deal-breaker lurking further down the road. And as you say, her comments have been pretty light-hearted, haven’t they? So just get whatever it is out into the open, talk it through, and then move on.
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